More often than not, we find ourselves in counselling because of things that are happening in the here and now. Perhaps we feel things in our lives aren’t quite right.

We may ask ourselves:

• Why do I feel angry or sad or upset?
• Why do I feel the way I do when I am with a particular person or in a certain situation?
• Why did I do that?
• Why am I the way I am?

When we come face-to-face with a mental health professional and the topic of the past comes up, the idea of ‘dredging things up’ or ‘picking out trauma’ can be uncomfortable.
But what if looking at the past enabled us to begin piecing together the puzzles we face in ourselves?

So why are our past experiences relevant?
Why do we think about them in psychodynamic counselling?

(Learn more about psychodynamic counselling: About our approach)

Development: The Building Blocks of Who We Are

Our past experiences shape how we see ourselves and the world – even the ones we cannot consciously remember or describe. Research suggests this begins as early as the womb.

Long before we can walk or talk, we absorb the environment around us, learning what it means to be cared for and how to relate to others. These early experiences create a blueprint for our responses to the rest of our lives – influencing our emotions, relationships, and coping mechanisms, the vast majority of this taking place unconsciously.

In times of stress, or when we feel as though we’ve exhausted all other emotional options, we often repeat old patterns that once helped us adapt – even when they no longer serve us.

Understanding these patterns is where psychodynamic counselling shines – undergoing the practice can help us gain awareness, break free from self-limiting cycles, and move forward with greater clarity, confidence, and connectedness to our own experience and our relationships with others.

When Old Coping Mechanisms Stop Working

If our development stacks the building blocks, coping mechanisms are what we find we must do to keep them standing – stopping the world from knocking them over.
The patterns we develop to protect ourselves can serve us well for a time, but eventually, they may hold us back.

If we’ve learned to suppress our feelings, they might resurface dressed as anxiety, depression, or anger. If past pain related to abandonment taught us to avoid closeness, we may struggle with all kinds of relationships in adulthood.

While we can’t change the past, understanding it empowers us not to be weighed down by it forever. In psychodynamic counselling, exploring these patterns can help us reclaim our agency and move forward in charge of our destiny.

Being Heard

Taking a first step into counselling and finding that there is space to talk about things that have happened to us, perhaps for the very first time, can feel like a huge relief.

Being able to express things that we have held onto inside, feeling that we could never tell anyone, can make us feel less alone.

Bringing those unconscious experiences into consciousness and looking at the patterns we have formed might feel daunting, as might the idea of sharing difficult or uncomfortable personal experiences.  But to be able to express feelings about them, be heard, understood and to have those experiences validated and witnessed by an empathic other can be incredibly beneficial, helping us to move forward.

Who’s In Charge?

Exploring our past, our responses to it and the feelings this brings up can evoke feelings of uncertainty and anxiety in itself. All our counsellors at The Counselling Centre understand that this is sensitive, careful work that must take place at your own pace, within a counselling relationship built on trust.

You are in charge of the process, disclosing only what you are comfortable with, when it feels right to do so. You won’t ever be pushed to talk about anything you don’t want to or are not ready to express. We also understand that perhaps you’ll never feel ready. And that is okay too.

Ultimately, however you choose to engage in counselling, the aim is to help you find your own solutions and build an inner resilience which will support you beyond the completion of your counselling. A little personal excavation may just be a part of that.

Regardless of the situation you face, you can build towards lasting change.

If you are ready, you can book your assessment [Here].